Emotion-Focused Therapy brings to life the memories that caused us emotional pain, as:
“What hurts the most points to what is most important”
- (Elliott et al., 2025, p. 48)
The goal of bringing to life these painful memories is to be able to access the emotions that are at the core of our pain. As often this core pain, keeps us stuck and prevents us from acting in ways that would allow us to meet our essential needs.
Most people have one type of pain that is most significant, from the following the types of core pain.
Core Pain
shame-based pain: feeling broken, flawed, worthless from prior humiliation
lonely-sad-isolated pain: from experiences with isolation, loss, abandonment and/or neglect
vulnerability-based pain: feeling terror or panic from traumatic experiences with physical danger & injury
It is important to access these emotions with the help of a therapist who can offer a corrective experience in order to transform them.
The goals of EFT are to:
promote self-awareness, power to make choices, and growth
help you process your emotions more effectively
help you meet your unmet needs and solve problems that come up in your relationships with others and yourself
Adapted from p. 3 of Learning emotion-focused therapy: A comprehensive guide (2nd ed.).
Adapted from p. 64 of Learning emotion-focused therapy: A comprehensive guide (2nd ed.).
image credit: @silverkblack
